A Look Back to 30@’20

As I said in a special vlog I did to celebrate the end of 2020, calling the year “tough” would be an understatement. Considering the global pandemic that has infected millions and claimed the lives of nearly a fifth of those numbers, and shut down schools, events and entire industries, and has forced many people to stay at home and wear masks when going out, I’d say it has been, very least, challenging.

A vlog to end the year 2020.

Reaching my thirthiet year on this earth, it’s weird looking back on the decade past, when I was worried of how I could shape my twenties as I transition out of college and enter adulthood.

It was never easy as I soon found out. Spent a year looking for a job, before getting hired at my first one at the beginning of 2012, then resigning in order to move to greener pasture, which only lasted several month before becoming unemployed for a number of years. 2015 was the turning point and I’ve spent the last half of the decade striving to produce the best for a company I’ve forever indebted to this day.

This was the decade where I sort of neglected my now 11 year old Youtube channel, my third after the first two got suspended but these past couple of years, I’ve been trying to put out content, and sure enough, my main channel grew to have nearly 600 subscribers which is crazy to think of because I never expected the channel to even be noticed. I’m also putting effort into developing my second channel, which despite having only 20 subscribers to date, I’m aiming for attaining quality as that’s the focus right now. Organic growth comes later.

A decade later, I want to strive higher. My family has grown to include nieces and nephews and my parents will reach retirement age very soon so I want to be able to provide if I can be able to aim higher.

I don’t really know the answer to questions in relation to the future, even if I’m now a 30-year old grown adult. In my mind, I’m still 20 years old who is still trying to figure things out. I’m still trying to figure things out to this day.

The pandemic really screwed everyone and everything, and it did felt like I’m living in a world that has continued to stand still, even if things started easing up. I can see it, not just at home, but on my commute, at work, and everywhere else.

I’d be lying to say that I don’t feel some sort of anxiety, because I do feel anxious. Some deal with it better than others, while people like me are somewhere in between. I’m counting my lucky stars as I still have a roof over my head, and a job that continues to pay me but I can’t help but think that things could get worse if we’re not careful.

Luckily, as a vaccine has finally been develop to combat the COVID-19 virus, we can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel, as cliche as that may sound. With that said, however, we are all not off the hook yet.

The pandemic has only amplified the socio-economic and political issues that has long been affecting people around the world. From the unrest n Lebanon, Thailand, Belarus and Hong Kong; to the consequences of Britain’s dissastrous exit from the European Union, to the latest phase of the Azerbaijan-Armenia conflict that has claimed lives, the systematic racism that has long shaped the politics and society of the United States, as well as my own country’s crackdown on outspoken critics and activists, these and more have come to the forefront for which only highlights the need to stand our ground and be united and work towards a sustainable future.

I do sound overly hopeful but that’s the one thing that has continue to keep mo going this year, because hope is what I can only hold on to when everything else around me began to fall down.

The pandemix has gone to a point where I know at least someone who has COVID, and that I know someone who has died from it. It’s saddening finding things like these because you feel helpless.

I’m not a perfect person, never did I advertised myself as such. I too have flaws, flaws that make me human. And this year, it seems being myself and be able to engage in conversations have gotten me into heated water with someone who I really regarded as a friend. It does seem like this person’s ideology have gotten them so far removed from the reality of our true state. Being blinded by a love of a leader who has proven to be incapable of making smart decisions cost them our friendship. On the bright side, I still see this person as a dear friend and it may take a while, like looong while, before they can finally see their dear leader as the incompetent leader he truly is.

When tomorrow comes, what will it bring? I don’t know but I will continue to search for tomorrow.

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