The past year, I had felt like I was letting myself go. The stress brought upon the job and the many days of waking up extremely early to get to work before rush hour were taking a toll on me.

On the path (Image courtesy of sxc.hu)

At the end of the year, I looked like a bloated version of myself. I felt insecure with my weight for the first time in years, I started getting comments of how I looked so fat (where at one time, I got the courage to tell that person off just because of how I annoyed I am with such remarks), and I was having a dilemma between doing cardio in the morning at a park near work or making up for lost sleeping time in the office.

This January, I decided to hire a personal trainer, the first that I ever had in the years that I have been going on and off from the gym. The manager of the gym that I go to have long being encouraging me to get myself a PT to properly help me on my form, to improve my routine, among others. And since I am trying to prepare myself to fit myself back in my old barong for my brother’s then-upcoming wedding, I gave in to his offer and hired one.

Okay so this trainer has been really encouraging and really accommodating. He knows how my mornings are between trying to make up for lost sleep and my efforts to truly make the most of my sessions with him. In the couple of months that followed, I felt stronger, I felt my weight becoming more manageable (as I’ve now been trying watch my diet) and I feel more confident.

Now comes the hard part: Having a personal trainer is quite hard on the wallet. I’m trying to find that right balance of between spending and saving so I could be able to afford my trainer for as long as possible but it has been difficult at best.

I’ve come to a point that I need to decide if continuing to have my trainer is still wise despite my diminshing rsousrces. I already am earning a decent salary but it’s not enough to support this endeavor, not when I also have to consider the fact that I have bills to pay.

The plan now, at least for the moment, is to continue this on until the end of month and then ask him if we could pause our training, telling him about my current financial situation so he’d understand where I’m coming from with this decision.

All this talking about discontinuing makes it seem like I was breaking off a relationship, which might as well be. I know he has other clients so he’ll bounce back and hopefully I would still continue to go to the same gym to at least continue my training without his assistance.

But I’m scared though. Because I really want to go all the way, as I can honestly feel the results that all the hard work he placed in all of our sessions.

I don’t have a replacement workout routine after next month. I may start with doing the basics and then progress from there with heavier weights. Also, I still would need to watch over my diet just so all the progress I have so far won’t go to waste. Doing more intensified cardio sessions is also ideal, perhaps having one done in the evening after work.

I don’t know what gonna happen but one thing for sure: This is a temporary roadblock in the long journey to fitness.